Dan Savage
- fucknodansavage
- “Divorced parents, gay dad, the HIV bombshell… and now, so suddenly, a woman. That’s an awful lot for a high-school-age kid, especially a boy, to deal with. The tr***y activists are going to jump down my throat for this, but… it seems to me that your ex could’ve put off the sex change until after his son was out of high school. One of the things parents are supposed to do is make sacrifices, big and small, for the sake of their children. And while I think people have a right to do pretty much as they please (and parents are people), I also believe that children have a right to some stability and constancy from the adults in their lives. Perhaps I’m a transphobic bigot, but I honestly think waiting a measly 36 months to cut your dick is a sacrifice any father should be willing to make for his 15-year-old son. Call me old-fashioned. […] When your son is an adult, he’ll hopefully be able to forgive his dad/mom/whatever for his selfish decision to run off and have a sex-change operation”
- Repeated use of the T word
- “Paradoxically, RAGE, going down on a sh**ale escort shores up your heterosexual bona fides. Gay guys don’t frequent and/or fellate sh**ale escorts (on purpose or by accident); getting with sh**ales is an entirely straight-male pursuit. So you can go right on identifying as straight, RAGE. Of course you aren’t totally straight—try thinking of yourself as something more than straight, not less—but you’re close enough that you can round yourself down to straight with a clear conscience. (Offer void the day you start blowing h**ale escorts.)”
- Jokes that Rob McKenna is FtM Transgender
- “Oh, and folks who want me to apologize for this: Okay, I will—after we raise at least 2K for Juin and his family. Otherwise, meh, I’ll just keep hating on trans people like the raging anti-trans beegoat that I am.”
- On Trans* Activists “It’s about a tiny sort of batshit wing of the movement blowing its stack and wanting to be the victimy-est victims in the room by claiming to be victimized by their allies. It’s a stupid waste of time.”
- Answer to a trans man when he asked if Savage thought his relationship with another trans man was doomed “Yes.”
- “If I’m the enemy of trans people everywhere, trans people everywhere could use more enemies like me.”
- “Sorry, but avoiding bi guys is a good rule of thumb for gay men looking for long-term relationships. Outside of San Francisco’s alternate-universe bisexual community, there aren’t many bi guys who want or wind up in long-term, same-sex relationships — monogamous or not”
- “I’m not saying bi guys are bad people, or they don’t make great one-night stands. Bushes, bathhouses, and sleazy gay bars are crawling with bi guys. But if a guy wants more, he’ll have an easier time getting it from another gay man.”
- “Judging from my mail, Andrew, when a gay guy or a straight girl gets involved with a bi guy, someone always winds up getting hurt. And guess what? It’s rarely the bi guy. So while I wish the rules and the risks were the same for everyone, it seems that in this instance they’re not.”
- “No, there are definitely some people who should fool around with bisexual men: OTHER BISEXUAL MEN! Jesus Christ, bisexuals — if straights and gays treat you unfairly, then why not turn to each other for love and comfort? Judging from my mail of late, there’s an unlimited supply of easily offended, extremely verbose, highly ethical bisexuals out there looking for love. Fuck each other!”
- “Get yourself a refillable Xanax prescription, or get yourself an actual lesbian girlfriend.”
- “I meet someone who’s 19-years-old who tells me he’s bisexual and I’m like, ‘Yeah, right, I doubt it. I tell them come back when you’re like 29 and we’ll see.’”
- “The other problems and truths that upset the bisexual community when we talk about them are that most — the overwhelming majority of bisexuals wind up in opposite sex relationships.”
- Dan Savage on the Existence of Bisexuality
- ““I’m too unstable in the coming-out process to date someone who’s also just coming out” is a baby-d**e variation on “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.””
- Called Gay Conservative group GOProud “House F****ts”
- “I appreciate the feedback, Stephanie, and I’m sorry I offended you. But… um… I couldn’t help but think, as I read your letter, that your boyfriend is either a fool or a f*g. But if it works for you guys—if a romantic relationship devoid of sexual attraction and activity works for you guys—then it works for you guys. Who am I to argue with success?”
- “With all the minimally sexuals out there making normally sexuals miserable, NSNA, it should be obvious to all regular readers that there’s not exactly a shortage of people who aren’t interested in sex. With that being the case, why would you even contemplate inflicting yourself on a normally sexual person? Why not go find another minimally sexual person? You’ll be doing your minimally sexual self a favor, you’ll be doing your future minimally sexual partner a favor, and you’ll be doing all normally sexual persons everywhere a favor by removing two minimals—you and your future partner—from the dating pool.”
- Thinks that aces marching in pride parade is funny because they’re fighting for the right to do nothing
- “At a certain point, endless Tumblr-enabled debates about sexual identity, gender identity, sexual orientation, and sexual interests take on the flavor of those how-many-angels-can-dance-on-the-head-of-a-pin debates that obsessed theologians in the Middle Ages.”
- Explanation of why Savage’s “It Gets Better” campaign is problematic
- “There the guy was, boned for you, and he was brave enough to put his desires out there, to make himself vulnerable (which is what the ladies are always saying they want, right?), and you lobbed the ol’ “What?!” bomb at him and made him feel like a freak. Is it any wonder that he quickly moved on to “other things” and, one would hope, better sex partners?”
- “I’m extremely sorry that you were raped, DRARS, although your baseless accusations of rape make me doubt you when you claim to be a survivor of rape. The feminist bloggers are going to accuse me of thought crimes: If a woman says she was raped then, by God, she was raped. (Tell it to the lacrosse team.) But if my reaction to your letter is a thought crime, I can only plead entrapment: I wouldn’t have had these illegal thoughts if you hadn’t sent me such a stupid letter in the first place. […] Finally, DRARS, I hereby withdraw my consent for you to read Savage Love. If you continue to read my column against my will, well, we all know what word to apply to your actions.”
- “I’m sorry that you were sexually assaulted—that’s awful, PTSD, and I hope you went to the police and I hope you’re pressing charges. But I also hope you know that being the victim of sexual assault is not a Get Out of Being a Human Being Free card. Just because you’ve been victimized doesn’t mean you operate in an alternate moral universe where you’re not obligated to take other people’s feelings into consideration—particularly the feelings of people you profess to love and happen to be married to. Your first priority in the wake of your assault had to be your own physical and emotional safety, of course, but your behavior toward your husband is both cruel and selfish. If you truly loved your husband and valued your marriage, PTSD, you would’ve put the boyfriend on hold and gotten your ass into therapy without having to be told. It looks to me like you want out of this marriage. But instead of taking responsibility for wanting out, you’re playing the victim card while slamming both hands down on your marriage’s self-destruct button. To sum up, PTSD: You’re being a total shit. Do you love your husband? Is your marriage a priority? Then start acting like it: Cut the boyfriend off—for the indefinite future—and get your ass onto a counselor’s couch. If you’re not willing to do those things, PTSD, then stop emotionally assaulting your husband and put both your marriage and him out of their misery.”
- “The problem, ILMSSL wrote, “[is] when I try to touch her in her sleep, she whimpers, turns away, and otherwise makes herself inaccessible,” which has left ILMSSL unable to “take the liberties that she has okayed.” In other words, DRARS, ILMSSL hasn’t been able to have sex with his sleeping wife—with her consent—because she unconsciously pulls away from him, and he stops. And this man is a rapist? As for my one word of advice: I’d be willing to pop a sleeping pill now and then to keep my boyfriend happy, so why not Ambien?”
- This misogynistic tweet
- “I do know this, though: I’m done pretending that the handful of racist gay white men out there—and they’re out there, and I think they’re scum—are a bigger problem for African Americans, gay and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for gay Americans, whatever their color.”
- “I don’t say this to place blame! African American and Latino voters only helped to pass Prop 8! But it’s ultimately the gays who are to blame for Prop 8! It was something we did! Or didn’t do! Either way, we’re to blame for Prop 8! Totes our fault!”
- “First off, LARDASS, you neglected to include a sign-off, forcing me to create one for you. I tried to create one that captured the spirit and tone of your letter, and I think I did pretty well. […] I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of fact—being heavy is a health risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly—characterized as “hate speech.” ”
- Blog post on “banning fat marriage” in Iowa
- Ableist rendition of The Miracle Worker, featuring Helen Keller as the daughter of a drag queen.
- The pink placard above the stage of Miracle! “The play you are about to see is deeply offensive to the Deaf-Blind community. Do not tell them about it. Keep your hands shut.”
- Wants To Curb Sex ‘Schizophrenia’ On TV
- “HIV [prevention campaigns] are fatally compromised, terribly conflicted. They seems designed, first and foremost, to avoid making the already HIV+ guys feel bad about being positive. That fear—that this, that, or the other HIV education campaign might stigmatize having HIV and hurt the feelings of guys who have HIV — is paralyzing and it leads to neutered, ineffective, flaccid campaigns.”
Wow I didn’t think I could hate Dan Savage any more
yeah, I just reblogging this to remind people how much of an asshole Dan Savage can be. to be fair, he did apologize for at least one use of Tr***y, but I believe he used it after that so it doesn’t really count.
BTW, Dan Savage has never responded to the letter I sent him
![glamonabudget:
[edit out people taking this seriously]
Yeah but the whole list is ridiculous. +25 points for being Jewish? But only +5 for being Christian? And it’s more of a disadvantage to be a scientist than it is to be ‘overweight’? Also how is bisexual +10 when many bi people are in relationships with those of the same gender as them?
Let really look at everything wrong with this. Race, well a lot depend on where in the world you are, I might have privilege for my race in the US, but I doubt that would carry into China or India.
Sex, close but I don’t think I’d give that big of separation between male and female.
Orientation, according to this I’m automatically more privileged that Neil Patrick Harris, Elton John, or Dan Savage. Bisexual should be a negative, and gay should be -150
Gender, apparently Trans* people gain a lot of privilege if they are “passable” (I wonder who makes that call)
Country, my only problem with this is who decided what Europeans countries where “shit” Plus, apparently I’m more privileged than the king of Saudi Arabia.
Religion, completely wrong, there is no way, anywhere in the world that a Jewish person is more privileged than an otherwise equal Christian.
Status, not to much wrong here, I’d call it “income” because that’s what it’s measuring.
Disability, OK, I think I’m fine with that measurement.
Attractiveness, the first two are very subjective measurements, no matter what you think you look like someone thinks you’re hot.
Size, guess that’s fine, though I might add a extremely tall and extremely short.
Profession, how does someone lose privilege for being a policeman or a fireman??? or even a scientist? and is a engineer really as privileged as a doctor?
One last comment/question, How much privilege do you lose for misspelling “Saturday”?](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbw3liX7dU1qkovk2o1_500.png)
